The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted crot by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a memek woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and crot declared the crot woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or memek sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all bokep men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, porn and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and bokeh is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors porn regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokep they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was bokeh the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners porn and crot ‘manipulation’, crot and porn that porn women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland memek said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, porn only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their bokeh book, memek Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason porn women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen porn to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand memek the need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: bokeh the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris